Personal Hell
by Shaz1
Summary: From Hell Takes place just before the events of the Johnny Depp movie. Chapter Five Up! Please R&R!
1. Chapter One

Personal Hell

By Sharron Ibbitson

Disclaimer: No the characters don't belong to me although I would happily keep Johnny Depp forever and forever and ever in any shape form or character I could get him.

This story is set before the events of the film 'From Hell' Please read and review.

My Johnny Depp fascination had been going on for some time, but it hit a whole new level when I saw him in 'From Hell' in fact it took me some times to even realise that it was him in that film. Even though it didn't even really go down phenomenally here in the UK, I still thought that it was a brilliant film, and the actors were very strong in it. So here is my first and probably only attempt at a 'From Hell' fiction, after all it is limiting what you can write about when the lead character dies in the final scene!

Personal Hell

The lone figure stood in the winter drizzle of the London cemetery. The man clad entirely in black, his gaze lost to the World as he stared intently at a newly dug grave. His face pale in stark contrast to the black of his clothes, and the darkness of the sky above. He stood like that for some time, deeply entranced by whatever memories held him. He did not surface from his reverie until a firm hand clasped down on his slender shoulder.

"Frederick how long are you going to stand here?" the soft Scottish lilt if the man's possibly only remaining friend asked. Abberline sighed deeply, comforted by his friend's presence yet at the same time wishing to be alone with only his thoughts for company. 

"I don' know" he replied after a moment, his gaze still not leaving the sight of the grave.

"She's gone red, and you catching pneumonia isn't going to bring her back" the police sergeant continued, determined to get through to his young friend. 

"I know" Abberline replied, his voice belaying his deep rooted sadness, and then he eventually turned his sorrowful gaze to his friend. Godley sighed; he had never seen such pain so openly etched on someone's face. He hated to see the younger man so lost in sorrow, yet he knew it would take the police inspector a long time to get over the death of his wife and newborn son, if he ever would at all. It was all that the man had ever wanted, to have a loving family of his own, someone to love and care for and hold him when he was down, and a child to continue his name. Yet fate had stepped in, and just as everything was coming together for the man, the gods had cruelly stolen away every scrap of happiness the man had. 

"Come on Fred, let me take you home" Godley prompted, wanting to help his friend in any way he could, even if it was just making sure that he changed into dry clothes and ate a little. 

"Home isn't home without Victoria" Abberline whispered, more to himself than to his friend, yet Peter heard the utterance and felt what was left of his heart shatter into a million pieces. 

"Then my friend it is decided that you shall come home with me and stay with me and Elizabeth" Peter told the slight man, in a tone that clearly allowed no room for argument.

"I can't impose on you and your family it's not right. Besides I have got to get used to being alone sooner or later" the young man protested, just as Godley had known that he would. Frederick tiredly rubbed his hand across his face, he truly was exhausted he had barely slept a wink since the news of the loss of his wife and child, and the strain was clearly showing on his face. 

"Aye you do, but that's not to say that it is today" Peter replied, then half lead and half dragged the smaller man towards the awaiting coach, pushing hi up gently, leaving him no choice but to comply. Peter Godley was determined not to let his friend out of his sight, Abberline was emotionally spent, and was quickly heading for a spiral of self destruction, and Peter wanted to avoid that at all costs. The ride in the coach passed in silence, both men lost in their thoughts. Abberline's mingled with despair, at the thought of never seeing his wife's joyful smile again. The thought that he never knew his son, never got to hold the baby in his arms. Never got to teach him to read or write and now he never would. When the carriage came to a stop, both men alighted wordlessly, and Godley took the lead as he headed to the door of his family's home. Elizabeth Godley had always thought very highly of her husband superior officer. He was a very intelligent man, yet he used his gifts to help others rather than for personal gain. So many of the men in the police service fought justice with their fists rather than with their brain, yet Frederick proved himself to be the exception. Elizabeth had been amongst the first to offer her congratulations when Victoria had agreed to become Fred's wife, and the first to show condolence when she was taken from their World, it was because of this that Godley had no doubt in his mind that his friend would be a welcome guest in their house, in fact it would probably be more of a battle convincing the woman to allow Abberline to leave when the time came. With that thought Godley chuckled lightly to himself, yet soon sobered as the reason why they had a guest sprung to his mind. 

////

Just as Godley had predicted, the police inspector was welcomed with open arms, in every sense of the word. Elizabeth had pulled the younger man into a fierce embrace as soon as he had stepped over the threshold into their home. She held him so tight that he could barely breathe, but what shocked Godley further was that after only the briefest hesitation Abberline returned the embrace just as fully, clinging onto the older woman as if his life depended on it, which in some ways it possibly did. 

End Chapter One

I may continue this story, if I think that anyone is actually reading it. So if you have read this please let me know by reviewing!!!!


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Thank you all for your kind reviews of the first chapter, I wasn't very sure how this story would go down with you guys, and am very relived that some people have reads it and seemed to enjoy it! Please review!

Chapter Two

The next week passed in a daze for inspector Fred Abberline, his World had drawn to an abrupt halt the moment his beloved wife had passed on and left him. Nothing seemed the same anymore, he was falling deeper and deeper into depression, and it was going to hurt like hell when he inevitably hit the bottom. Godley was forced to watch his friend oblivious display of self destruction. The younger man was talking, and he slept little. He simply sat up all the time drinking and smoking, barely uttering a sound, Godley could tell that his friend was hurting more than he would ever know, yet he didn't know how to reach him. If he didn't manage to get through to his superior officer soon, well he didn't really wish to dwell on what would happen. 

////

Elizabeth Godley stood back observing her husband's boss silently; she was worried about the young man. He looked so lost, from what her husband had told her Fred hadn't had the easiest of lives, with no living relatives living near enough for him to turn to; he was now pretty much left to face his troubles alone. Well she'd be damned if she was going to let his hurt eat him up from the inside, she was going to make sure that he knew he had people that cared for him. Deservedly too, her heart broke just to look at him as he sat staring into space, yet she knew that no amount of molly-coddling would cause any reaction in him. No it was time for some tough love. She sighed to herself knowing that it was going to be very hard to get tough with the young police inspector, but hey a woman had to do what a woman had to do. She approached the still form of her friend silently, but pulled no punches when she did speak to him. 

"Fred what are you doing still sat there?" she asked him, deliberately keeping her tone impassive. He looked surprised that she had spoken so bluntly to him; he turned to look at her, his unfocused deep brown eyes boring into hers. She resisted her instinct to flinch at the pain so obvious in their orbs, but what she was doing was necessary, she had to save him from himself. 

"Sorry Elizabeth, do you need some help with something?" he asked her, his voice course through lack of use, but the very fact that he had spoken convinced her of the merits of her idea.

"Yes Fred, I could do with a hand. I am doing the washing, can you help me to hang it out please?" she asked him, her tone softer now than before. He nodded before staggering to his feet, as his exhaustion and lack of nourishment caught up with him. He was always a slender man, but since his wife's death he had lost further weight, weight he could ill afford to lose, and his clothes now literally hung off of his skeletal frame. Elizabeth shook her head at the sorry sight, but didn't comment, for she knew that Fred would simply shrug off her concerns. Silently the young police inspector followed his hostess through the house, perfectly willing to perform any of the day to day tasks as required. He was grateful to the Godleys for allowing him to stay, granted he didn't continually engaged them in deep conversation, in fact he had hardly spoken to them since the first day he had got there, but it was good to know that he wasn't alone. Since his wife had died he had felt a great big gaping space in his heart, that no matter where his thoughts drifted or his emotions ran, would not be filled. He feared that it never would be. Silently he followed the woman handing her the washing as she hung it up, not a word passed between them. When they had run out of washing to hang out to dry, Elizabeth turned to look at the solemn young man beside her, his pale features obvious in the harsh sunlight of mid morning, he was such a good looking young man, he had so much to offer others, yet somehow she knew he would allow himself to love anyone so fully again.

"Come on Fred, let's go and have an early lunch" she told him, and before he could argue at all she had grabbed him by the arm and practically dragged him back into the kitchen. Before he knew it she had prepared him a thick meat and salad sandwich and was propelling back towards the armchair, plate and mug of tea in hand. She sat beside him with her own meal, but didn't take a bite, instead she watched him. He stared at the food as if it were poison. "Come on Fred, eat it, it won't kill you" she told him, pleading internally that he would finally eat something. Abberline sighed his appetite had deserted him the day of his wife's death, and hadn't returned, yet he knew that Elizabeth would watch him like a hawk until he at least attempted to eat. Reluctantly he picked up half of the sandwich, and raised it to his lips, taking a small nibble from the bread. He chewed and attempted to swallow, yet it may as well have been sawdust, as he struggled to chew it and swallow it past the lump in his throat. Finally he managed to swallow the morsel down, and looked up at Elizabeth, to see if she was satisfied at his efforts, she merely raised an eyebrow at him, showing him the obvious answer to his unasked question. He sighed a long suffering sigh and slowly began to eat the remainder of his food. Only when he had finished did she turn her attention to her own food, when she had finished Fred took her plate from her, and went and washed up the dishes, leaving them on the side to drain. She smiled to herself, satisfied that she had finally got him to eat something, and that he was at last moving voluntarily. When he returned, he had a little bit of colour back in his thin face. She felt even more relieved when he came back into the room, and looked her in the eye.

"I am really tired, would you mind if I went to lie down for a while?" he asked her softly, she smiled gently at him.

"Go on up Fred, I'll wake you when dinner is ready" she responded, walking towards him, and wordlessly pulling him into an embrace, keen to offer him any comfort she could. E smiled tiredly at her, despite the feeling behind it, it still didn't reach his expressive eyes. He carefully leant forward and placed a tender kiss on her cheek, then turned and slowly made his way upstairs, to get some much needed sleep, and hopefully escape his demons. 

End Chapter Two

Now I am still not sure whether to continue this or not, please review if you want more!!


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Thank you all for your kind reviews and e-mails about this I am really pleased that people seem to be enjoying it and reading it! I am sorry it has been so long since I have updated but if I get enough reviews I should be posting the last few chapter to this story in the next week or so.

Please review!!

Chapter Three

Fred Abberline lay on his bed in silence, his mind playing through images as sleep beckoned him. Memories flittered in his mind one by one his wedding day, the day he was told his beloved wife was with child and the day she died, pain speared though his consciousness as if it was that day, his heart shattered never to be completely repaired, his mind never truly leaving that day. His eyes never holding the sparkle again, his stomach feeling empty. He sat up, now fully awake, his memories and nightmares combining into one, haunting him in his sleep. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and cradled his head in his hands, he didn't know how much more he could take, whether awake or sleeping his mind and heart were lost to his beloved wife he couldn't think without her, he couldn't smile without her, and he couldn't breath without her.

Elizabeth Godley fell straight into her husband's embrace the moment that he step foot through the door to his house.

"What's that in aid of?" Peter asked confused, but pleased to see his wife looking so happy.

"I think Fred is finally getting better. He helped me with the washing today, and then he ate lunch. Now he is upstairs sleeping" she told him, a big grin across her face. Peter looked at her for a moment, then took hold of each of her arms.

"Do you mean you asked him to help you with the washing, then you force fed him lunch and then he went upstairs for a lay down top escape you?" he asked her softly, and her gaze dropped to the floor. Peter chuckled he understood his wife more than anybody he had ever known. "Its okay, maybe he needs bullying sometimes" he tried to console her, she looked up and he could tell that she was upset.

"I didn't bully him honestly! I just thought that he would heel quicker with a little persuasion" she told him.

"You are more than likely right my dear. Fred needs someone to show him the right way, Victoria was his whole life for a very long time, he just need to learn to live for himself and as himself rather than as part of a two" he told her, and she nodded sadly.

"Could you do that?" she asked her husband, he looked away from her, his expression unreadable even to someone that knew him as well as she did.

"No, no my dear I don't think I could. What's more I hope to hell that I never have to" he told her, pulling her closer to him and holding her tight once more thanking his lucky stars that he had her, and praying to god for his dear friend to find some way of living through his pain.

Fred sat in the same position for quite some time until his weakened body drew up enough energy to struggle to his feet, the dizziness that he was accustomed to living with day to day assailed his senses once again and he leant against the door post for support whilst the spell passed enough for him to continue normal movement. Once he had got his breath back enough and his vision had ceased swimming in front of his eyes he made his way back down the narrow stair case, knowing that he most likely looked as bad as he felt he went straight out into the toilet where the little he had managed to consume in the last few days left his stomach as he heaved over the bowl. He bit back on the sob that threatened to escape him, when had life come to this? A grown man a mere month ago happily married to the only woman he had ever loved, a child on the way and a solid career ahead of them. Now here he was alone in the world with no family and hardly any friends, too afraid to even return to his marital home alone. He rested his head again the hard wood, and allowed his mind to close, yet it didn't last long before his wife's screams reverberated around his skull, reminding him that his worst nightmares were in fact his life.

End Chapter Three

Please review!!!!


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

Thank you all once again for your reviews, it really means a lot to me! Please keep them coming, there isn't much more of this fic to come, but please keep your support coming because I do have another one to post after this.

Chapter Four

Abberline remained in his self imposed prison for some time, his mind lost to memories of the past, the overwhelming joy he had felt on his wedding day now overshadowed for eternity by the torture filled screams of agony his wife emitted as she struggled for life whilst desperately trying to save their child. He closed his eyes and gasped as a soul deep pain wracked through his body, he slumped forward to his knees, and clutched his pounding head in his hands, his eyes filling with moisture that continually spilt down his cheeks. His whole life ended in that one day a part of him would never breathe again, and he knew that that pain would remain with him for ever more.

His energy spent Fred rested his head on his drawn up knees, the nausea still making his stomach swirl, and the dizziness kept his head spinning despite his position sat still on the floor. He hated what he had become, he hated the hand that fate had dealt him, and he hated that he couldn't even bluff his way out of it to win the hand. He rubbed his hands over his exhausted face, he honestly didn't know how much longer he could take this pain for, every time his heart beat in his chest it broke a little bit more, for it only reminded him of his beautiful wife who lay rotting in the ground all of the life drained out of her. Why couldn't it just have been him? Had he been so evil in life that he deserved the agony inflicted with every passing moment? He was slowing killing himself, and in some ways he knew it yet didn't feel inclined to stop, maybe a part of him truly wished to leave behind the suffering and join his loving wife and son with God, and maybe he just didn't give a damn anymore.

He gasped as a pain tore through his stomach, and his arm wrapped around his middle trying to squeeze out the throbbing, he squeezed his eyes shut trying to lose his mind to the World around him, and just concentrate on breathing. Yet the spasms continued his whole body shaking with the exertion of staying awake through the agony. The sweat ran down his haunted face, and he shuddered as though cold, finally he allowed his eyes to drift shut and gave in to the darkness

"Do you think we should go and check on him, he has been in there for quite a while?" Elizabeth asked her husband, her concern for their friend evident in her strained tone. Peter looked at her, yet couldn't deny that he too was worried. He sighed deeply, leant forward and placed a soft kiss on his wife's forehead and then spun on his heel and strode out of the house to the outhouse. He took a deep breath and then raised his fist and rapped on the door, when no response came, he knocked again. He sighed when yet again no answer came from behind the door.

"Fred? Fred are you all right in there?" he called out, yet his friend did not answer, though Peter could have sworn he did hear a sound, and it was a sound that made his blood turn to ice in veins. He heard a strangled sob that came from a tortured throat, if he hadn't already decided then that sound would have been enough to make up his mind. With one firm shove with his large frame and the door was open, yet Godley could not step any further through the door, for laying on the floor spread-eagled on the cold dirty floor was an unconscious Fred Abberline, his pale face glazed in sweat and his entire form trembling.

End Chapter Four

A little short I know, but I wanted to end on a little bit of a cliffie!!

Please review!!!


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Hey guys, sorry for the extremely long delay I am really sorry to keep you waiting but thank you all for the fantastic response to this story, please please keep the reviews coming!

Chapter Five

After a moment's hesitation Godley stepped into the tiny space, and as gently as he could, lifted the much smaller man into his arms. His concern raised a notch further when Fred didn't stir in the slightest at the movement. He carefully made his way back into the house, making his ascent up the creaky staircase before gently lowering his precious cargo down on to the bed. Once he was sure that Fred would not shake hard enough to roll off the bed, he dashed back out to get Elizabeth and some medical supplies.

FHFHFHFHFHFHFH

The music played on as he swirled her in his strong embrace. Their eyes locked together, minds lost to a wealth of emotions, hearts rich beyond monetary value. Everyone watched as the two danced their first waltz as man and wife, yet neither of them noticed for they only had thoughts for each other and their future together. On the edge of the dance floor a large dark haired man stood, his eyes gleaming in his happiness for the two, stood directly before him was the woman who had long ago captured his heart and never once given it back since.

"They are going to be so happy together" Peter whispered to his beloved wife, and she glanced back to him, revealing the tears streaming down her fair face. "Elizabeth whatever is the matter?" the Scot asked her in concern.

"I am just so happy that Fred has found somebody that loves him the way that I love you" she replied, before reaching up on tip toe and planting a soft kiss on his lips, just as the newly wedded couple did the same.

FHFHFHFHFHFHFH

Elizabeth blinked back the tears that threatened to fall on to the young man laid out before her. Fred was a sorry state indeed. He laid a trembling wreck a shadow of the man that he was on that wonderfully happy day just a few years previously. The police inspector had lost so much weight in the last month, and his eyes were sunken in his pale face. The older woman took a deep breath and wiped her face before stepping up to the task at hand.

"Get his clothes off for me Peter please? I shall wait out side and you can call me when you are ready" she told her husband in as commanding of a tone as possible. Peter obeyed instantly, moving forward before his wife had even left the room. He sighed as he gently lifted the younger man up and somehow managed to remove his waistcoat. He then unbuttoned the white shirt and went to work getting that off of the thin frame in front of him, he sighed once more as he realised just how thin the man had gotten. Frederick had always been slender, but he had also had a hidden power of lean muscle well defined, yet now there was barely a scrap of flesh on his bones, something that he knew that Elizabeth would be more than willing to work on. Once the younger man's torso was naked, he began undoing his breeches and soon his friend was laying just in his underwear, Peter pulled the blanket up to cover his friend to his waist and then promptly beckoned his wife in. Elizabeth took one look at the younger man and the tears once more threatened to fall.

"What do you think is wrong with him?" Peter asked softly.

"I don't know, I should imagine that it is a combination of things. The poor lad has barely eaten a morsel of food for weeks and his is more than likely exhausted. Most of all he is soul weary and his body cannot keep up with the deep hurt in his heart" Elizabeth responded, placing a soaking cloth of the sweat soaked forehead of the sorrowful figure in front of her. She then pulled the sheets and blanket up the bed to his chin, tucking the covers tightly around the shivering form. "Sleep well my sweet prince" she whispered before placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

End Chapter Five

Please, please, please review!


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